Farenheit 9/11

Just watched Farenheit 9/11. There's little more that I can say that others haven't, but I will say this:

The people who picked out minute errors can't see the forest for the trees. I can't even see how somebody who's seen the film could put a tick in the box next to Bush. Thousands of people are dead based on a lie. Shame.

Asian Disaster

This is one of the worst disasters ever. We can only hope for the best.

Fortress Australia?

A great science fiction book, 1632, teaches an important lesson in the modern age. In the book, a small West Virginian town is sent back to 1632 into the middle of Germany in the Thirty-Years War. After they discover what has occured, they have two choices as to how to proceed: they can shelter in their tiny town behind machine guns and checkpoints, keeping out refugees and armies alike, or they can expand, welcome the refugees into their town and do their best to deal with the armies as they come. He who is well fed is less likely to join an army. You can see the motivation behind both choices, but really, which one do you want to choose?

Australia can hide behind "Migration Excise Zones" and "Immigration Security", send anyone who looks funny into "detention" camps, and cower from the terrorist threat, or we can welcome the refugees into our nation and watch the terrorists lose their support base as they decide that being well-fed is more important than bringing down the wrath of Allah upon the Great Satan of the West. And a similar thing could be said for America.

A quote from Steven Baxter sums it up nicely "To survive, humanity must do more than just survive."

Random Rant: Stupid Stuff

So Stupid

This is unbelievably stupid.

The Tao of Dungeon Mastering

A young dungeon master once found that his players had little interest in his adventures, and often interrupted him in the midst of speech. Therefore, he traveled to seek the advice of the wise dungeon master at the mountain of Sung. The young dungeon master asked the wise old dungeon master, who had mastered the art of creation, the laws of the game, and the power of communication:

"Why do my players not follow the path that I place in front of them?

The wise dungeon master considered the young one's question, and said to him:

"Go forth, and learn the art of playing. He who does not sit upon the dungeon master's throne will see the answer."

The young dungeon master heeded the wise one's request, and set forth for the city of Daishang, where he joined the game of Shi Gan. He created a character, a second-level Cleric of Wan, who then set forth into the kingdoms of Shiar. The young dungeon master then traveled to many bars, and became frustrated when he had to seek that which he did not know of.

His character sheet, filled with numbers and words arranged in harmony and balance, was little seen as the party fought little and acheived less. The young master became frustrated as his character sought combat but found only endless paths to choose.

As the session progressed, the young dungeon master fell into annoyance, and simply attempted to travel along a path contrary to that of the session's master. The young dungeon master then saw that which the wise one had advised him of. After the session, he thanked the Shi Gan, and returned to the mountain of Sung.

The wise one sat and listened to the young dungeon master's story, and asked of him:

"Did you learn the secret of the dungeon master's art?"

The young dungeon master nodded, and said:

"The dungeon master who expects his players to follow a path without guidance will suffer from his folly."

The wise one nodded, and said:

"You have learned much, young one, but there is still much you must learn. Go and seek the dungeon master at the court of Fan, and return when you have played with him."

So the young dungeon master set off for the court of Fan, where he created a fifteenth-level Wizard with a golden staff. He entered into the game of Wang Hai, and at first it went well, as the dungeon master of Fan guided them to the castle of Nainang. There they sought wealth and power, but the young dungeon master was so enamoured with the power of his character that he had little interest in roleplaying.

He far preferred using his powerful character to defeat enemies, as he had little interest in his character's life but more in its power. After the session, he thanked Wang Hai and returned to the mountain of Sung.

The wise one sat and listened to the young dungeon master's story, and asked of him:

"Did you learn a secret of the dungeon master's art?"

The young dungeon master nodded, and said:

"The dungeon master who gives his characters power without responsibility or experience will have many problems."

The wise one nodded, and said:

"You have learned much, young one, but there is still much you must learn. Go and seek the dungeon master at the city of Shanai, and return when you have played with him."

So the young dungeon master set of for the city of Shanai, where he joined the game of the dungeon master Fan Shei. He created a third-level Rogue, and at first gained much enjoyment until the party experienced bad luck. The character were severely wouneded, and his character was then killed by a monster far too difficult for the party to handle in its current state. After the session, he thanked Fan Shei and returned to the mountain of Sung.

The wise one sat and listened to the young dungeon master's story, and asked of him:

"Did you learn a secret of the dungeon master's art?"

The young dungeon master nodded, and said:

"The dungeon master who does not bend in the breeze breaks in the gale."

The wise one nodded, and said:

"You have learned much, young one, but there is still much you must learn. Go and seek the dungeon master at the palace of Ting, and return when you have played with her."

The young dungeon mastered trekked across the western desert to the palace of Ting, where he joined the game of the dungeon master Shai Han. He created a first-level Paladin of the Golden Sun, and set off into the jungles of Kish. There his character experienced many fights, and learnt the limits of his character. But he felt bored by the endless streams of orcs and wished for more excitement.

He resorted to ridiculous tactics and insane stunts to attempt to inject excitement into the game, but brought only time spent looking up rules and time spent arguing over rules. After the session, he thanked Shai Han and returned to the mountain of Sung.

The wise one sat and listened to the young dungeon master's story, and asked of him:

"Did you learn a secret of the dungeon master's art?"

The young dungeon master nodded, and said:

"The dungeon master who creates adventures without change and coolness will bore his players."

The wise one nodded, and said:

"You have learned much, young one, but there is still much you must learn. Yet there is little I can teach you. Return to your players, and show them what you have learnt. You will learn slowly, but one day you may master the art."

The young dungeon master returned to his players, and brought what he had learnt. He created an adventure that guided his players, showed them responsibility, and brought excitement to their characters. When the characters experienced bad luck, he gave them good fortune. They wondered at his new skills, and were fascinated by the adventure and the plot. Yet, they still occasionally argued, fought, or made crazy stunts, but the dungeon master had truly learnt the way and needed only to follow it further.

D&D Stuff: Kicking Ass

I always thought that Improved Unarmed Strike sucked. My reasoning: who would bother taking it to do 1d3 points of damage with an unarmed attack when they could take a level of monk and grab a bunch of other benefits

Martial Arts Proficiency [GENERAL]
You are a skilled martial artist.
Benefit: Your unarmed attack deals 1d6 damage if you are large, or 1d4 damage if you are small. You take no attacks of opportunity for attacking unarmed. You lose the benefit of this feat if you are wearing medium or heavy armor.

Improved Martial Arts [GENERAL]
You are a greatly skilled martial artist.
Prerequisite: +5 BAB, Martial Arts Proficiency
Benefit: Your unarmed attack deals 1d8 damage if you are large, or 1d6 damage if you are small. You take no attacks of opportunity for attacking unarmed. You lose the benefit of this feat if you are wearing medium or heavy armor.

Arse Kickin' Time [GENERAL]
Sometimes, you just go for it.
Prerequisite: Martial Arts Proficiency
Benefit: You may spend 1 action point to activate this feat. For a number of rounds equal to 1/2 your character level, you gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage with unarmed attacks, a +5ft bonus to speed, and a 19-20/x2 critical rating with unarmed attacks.

Absolute Bastard [GENERAL]
You are an absolute bastard, and follow no rules or honor in combat
Prerequisite: Nonlawful alignment
Benefit: You gain a +1 bonus to all attack rolls if any of the following conditions are true:
-You are attacking in a surprise round.
-You are making a sneak attack.
-Your opponent is unarmed.
-Your opponent is confused, shaken, panicked, or terrified.
-Your opponent is prone.
-Your opponent is retreating or fleeing.

One Fist Behind My Back [STYLE]
You fight with one hand as well as you would with two.
Prerequisite: Martial Arts Proficiency, Improved Martial Arts, Weapon Focus (unarmed strike), Two-Weapon Fighting
Benefit: Effectively, one hand of yours is treated to be two weapons. So, you can use Two-Weapon Fighting with something else in the other hand.

Squatting Dog, Sneaky Bastard [STYLE]
You squat on the ground until your opponent comes over to hit you, then kick 'em real hard.
Prerequisite: Martial Arts Proficiency, Improved Martial Arts, Weapon Focus (unarmed strike), Absolute Bastard
Benefit: If attacked while prone, you may immediately move to standing and make a free attack with a +2 bonus to damage against your attacker.

"I Fly Around The World And Blow Stuff Up!": A New Anthem for the USAF

To the tune of "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes".

CHORUS:
Oh, I fly around the world and blow stuff up,
Firing missiles, fragging pisspiles as I go,
I meet interestin' people then I go blow up their steeple,
I'm sure glad I joined the ol' US Air Force!

I can blow stuff up from orbit if I want,
Laser-guided radar-sighted airforce junk,
but all that damn precision ends up makin' an incision,
straight in to the guys we're meant t' lib-er-ate!

CHORUS

We fight ter'rism an' bring dem-o-crac-y,
with F-fifteens an' US Ranger teams,
and with US corporations always their to help these nations,
there's always quite a profit to be seen!

CHORUS

Oh, with Shock'n'Awe we'll liberate these folks,
Yes, with Regime Change in Firin' Range we will,
Drop the Mother of All Bombs in alliance with the Poms,
then they'll all be smiles an' happiness an' free!

CHORUS

Yes, we've fought the bastards in Iraq an' won,
Least' that's what our prezzie always seem to say,
But I tell you it's not pretty stayin' in this Baghdad city,
'coz we seem to have some new bastards right here!

CHORUS


Note: I have the utmost repsect for the men and women of the USAF. I just have little respect for their leaders.

D&D Stuff: Speak softly and carry a short sword.

Lightning Fangs [Style]
You are a master of fighting with two shortswords, and have learnt to strike with one right after the other.
Prerequisites: Dex 15, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (shortsword), Two-Weapon Fighting, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting
Benefit: When you take a standard attack action (not a full-round attack), and strike with one shortsword, you may immediately make another attack against the same opponent with the other sword at your highest base attack bonus. You still take the normal penalties for fighting with two weapons.

Short and Sharp [General]
You keep your sword sharp and pointy.
Prerequisites: Dex 15, Weapon Focus (short sword)
Benefit: You deal +2 damage with a shorts word whenever you make a piercing damage attack.

Short and Swift [General]
You strike with uncanny swiftness when wielding a shortsword.
Prerequisites: Dex 15, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (short sword)
Benefit: You may make a single attack with your short sword as a move action at a -5 penalty.

Short and Slippery [General]
Your sword seems to be in the wrong place for your enemy.
Prerequisites: Dex 15, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus (short sword)
Benefit: You gain a +3 bonus to avoid being disarmed when you wield a short sword.

Random Rant: Golden Handshakes

There's a particular corporate policy that I particularly dislike: the so-called "golden handshake", or a cash package given to executives when they leave a company. Not just if they're "made redundant", but even if they quit, find a better job, or are forced to resign due to accusations of criminal wrongdoing. They're often massive: an example is the $8.5 mil given to the CEO of a company that refuses to pay asbestos victims compensation caused by them.

Will executives have the best intrests of the company and the shareholders at heart if they know they'll make a truckload anyway?

Wag the Dog

I recently watched Wag the Dog: a 1998 film about a presidential staff that fakes a war to win an election. The film felt eerily similar to the days leading up to the Iraq invasion and the early war. The early war was great for the Bush administration, with all those buzzwords "Showdown with Saddam", "Shock and Awe", "Iraqi Freedom", "Wall of Heroes", and the clips of what looked like fireworks seemingly harmlessly passing over Baghdad(yeah, right). It was truly a media circus, with the media complacently accepting the administration's press and arguements and positions.

Only since Abu Gharib has the media started to gain some teeth and become less of an administration mouthpiece and more of a free press. Still, the damage to the media's credibility had already been done, and the damage to American freedom will take years to heal, assuming moderation somehow takes control.

Random Rant: Let's Not Pay Our Dues!

The American government has come up with a plan: stop paying 20% or whatever of their UN dues until it becomes an American tool or folds up and explodes. Brilliant!

Let's withdraw funding from UNICEF, the WHO, and all those other acronyms that make the world a better place. Let's stop the UN from helping to arbitrate disputes peacfully. Let's try and accelerate World War IV's arrival. Have a beer or two! It might help you come up with an even better plan!

I've got another plan: if you don't like the way the Bush administration is going, stop paying 20% of your taxes! Go for it

Some useful stickers for Alabama Schools

Wonderful.


While we're at it, we'd better put some stickers on the maths textbooks:

"This book states that the value of pi is approximately 3.14159. This theory is contrary to some beliefs, and should therefore be approached with an open mind, studied carefully, and critically considered."

Because the biblical value of pi is 3:

"Also he made a molten sea of ten cubits from brim to brim, round in compass, and five cubits the height thereof; and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about."

4:2, 2 Chronicles