Appearing High Status for Dummies

Feel like people have a tendency to overlook you? Always the last to get served? People think that you don't matter? Well, then maybe they think that you are lower status than them. Complete and utter crap, of course, but our perceptions shape our actions, our thoughts, and our beliefs. This is true for everyone. You are no different: perhaps you think you are, but your perceptions are merely based on a different system. Everybody has a different system. What makes one person think "That dude is cool!" makes another person think "Man, what a dork.".
Status is a very etheral and hard to grip measure of what people think of you. High status people aren't neccessarily more likeable or nice, but they are the people that other people will listen to, watch, and follow the orders and suggestions of.
However, in English speaking cultures, there are a few constants that seem to work with most people.
 
A few simple guidelines should make other people treat you with a little more respect.
-Use "thank you" instead of "please". I.E., "I'll have the black one, thanks." instead of "Please can I have the black one?" or "I'll have the black one, please.". Thanking them in advance creates the expectation that you will have the black one, or whatever, and they will generally attempt to fulfill that expectation.
-Stand up and sit up straight. Nothing looks more low status than a slouch.
-Speak slower, using pauses and spaces. Don't speak too slowly, though. By speaking slowly, you show that you don't expect to be interrupted.
-Use proper grammar and sentence structure. (in some situations, this may be a bad idea: don't go to far.) The proper use of English is associated with wealth and status. But whatever you do, don't put on an accent.
-This could be a tricky one: don't make jokes that fall flat. That will instantly put you in the low status crowd.
-NEVER use the word "like" except for its dictionary definition. People who say "like, whatever" generally appear more low status. When's the last time you heard a movie, sports or business celeberity use "like" that way?
-Dress for the role you want. It may sound superficial, but clothes are an easy way to alter other people's perception. If you want to appear smart, wear glasses. Western culture, for some strange reason, has decided that glasses-wearing people ar smarter. If you want to appear cool, . 
By the way, different groups have different ideas of what clothes mean cool. If you wear an Armani suit to a LAN party, you are going to appear like a dork.

In some situations, all these rules are actually reversed. Some groups tend to think acting low status is high status, and vice versa. I'll let you rely on your own judgement to decide when to use these rules and when not to.
You can also use these rules in reverse to appear low status: sometimes, that's just what you want.

So there you have it: a simple set of rules to follow that should make you "The Man" in any situation. So long!