The Lord of the Rings as Written by Dr. Seuss: The Fellowship of the Ring

The Fellowship of the Ring

Hobbits are known
for big hairy feet
and for smoking a pipe
and their lovely big beet!

A Hobbit named Frodo,
in the Shire we hear,
was given a ring,
which could make him disappear.

Too many black riders,
and evil such things,
would chase him around,
to look for the ring.

So then Mr. Frodo,
and his gardener Sam,
and Merry and Pippin,
two friends who liked jam,
set off on a journey,
to find a big man,
who'd lead them to Mordor,
and there they would dam,
that ring of Sauron.

There travels were varied,
first to the City of Bree,
where the met a ranger,
called Aragorn McGee.

Then they went to the east,
through the forests of Arnor,
and Barrows of Ferns,
then the Witch King of Arnor,
chased them to hills,
where Frodo was stabbed,
by a Nazgul you see,
its claws were quite crabbed,
but was saved by the Ranger,
who had a scabbed.

Right then,
in the tower of Saruman,
Gandalf and Saruman,
discussed matters of Plan,
and then evil Saruman,
smashed Gandalf in the Can.

He then escaped quickly,
by eagle you've see,
away from Isengard,
where Saruman be.

They traveled to Rivendell,
where Frodo awoke,
to a council of Men,
elves of the Oak,
and the dwarves of Moria.

"Give me the Ring"
shouted Boromir Gondor.
"No, I need the Ring."
shouted Gimli the Gloin.
Then Gandalf the Grey,
whose words were well spoken,
told the Council of May,
that the ring would get broken,
if it was not for Frodo,
and his face then was oaken.

The council decided,
to carry the ring,
one Dwarf,
one Elf,
one Wizardly Guy,
two Men,
and Four Hobbits,
would travel by eye,
to the lip of Mt. Doom,
where the ring would die.

The fellowship left,
for the black gate of Mordor,
where the Dark Lord Sauron,
would enforce his order.

"What a beautiful bow,
you have there my friend"
Said Frodo the Hobbit,
to Legolas the Elvend,

"'tis a wonderful bow,
I agree.
It lets me kill orcsies,
there they go! One,
two,
three!"
And with that,
the orcsies went splat.

Then Sam of the Garden
said to Gimli the Gloin:
"Did it not hurt,
when you were kicked in the groin?"
"Why, no!" said the Dwarf.
"Thanks to my armor of mithriloin!
'tis wonderful armor!
From the depths of Moria!
It lets me kill orcs
with the ease of Maria!"

And with that,
more orcsies went splat.

They went through the mountains,
where Saruman hit them with aria,
so they stumbled on down,
to the cave of Moria.

Outside the cave,
there was a big door,
and this door was locked,
by the secret of Dwar.

They then opened the door,
which awaked a squid,
with tentacles,
blue
green
and icky yellow!
The tentacles slapped thus,
but Legolas with his bow,
shot it with much pus,
and it scrambled away,
so they shouted "Hooray!".

In Moria, the dwarftown,
they found many orcsies,
but it was quite easy,
to kill all the orcsies.

What scared them that day,
was an Old Mountain Troll,
who hit them with fists,
and its big old doll!

Then Frodo was stabbed,
yet again,
by the doll,
and he looked like he was in pain!

But luckily thence,
the troll was then dispatched,
with quickness and fence,
of Aragorn's blade!

Then Frodo awoke:
"I'm not dead!"
he did say,
and then they shouted:
"Hooray!"

Then a stomping was felt!
And a roar of great might!
Then they saw a fiery pelt!
A balrog had woken!
With orange red light!

The balrog was chasing,
and the fellows were racing,
to the Bridge of Dol Acing.

They crossed this big bridge,
but the balrog still came,
but Gandalf was brave!
He stood on the frame,
and shouted to the rave:
"YOU
SHALL
NOT
PASS!"
And with that,
the bridge did fall far,
with the Balrog,
of Star!

But up snaked a flame,
that grabbed onto gandalf!
And dragged right down,
to the fiery depth,
where he did not crown.

Frodos face fell,
and Gimlis,
and Boromir,
and all of the fellows.

They ran to a river,
which ran down the land,
they came to some statues,
which were quite a big stand.

Then orcises and uruks,
appeared near the stand,
so Gimli
and Boromir
and Legolas
and Aragorn too!
fought bravely the orcs,
those bad bad bad orcs.

Gimli's axe went "SNIP! SWAP!"
And orcsies did snap!
Boromir's sword went "CHIP! CHOP!"
And orcsies did pop!
Legolas's bow went "TWIT! TWANG"
And orcsies went BANG!
And then Aragorn slapped them,
those bad bad bad orcs,
he slapped them with vigor,
he slapped them with might,
he slapped them for ages,
and Boromir crept,
away from the battle,
to Frodo who slept.

He woke Frodo up,
and tried to capture,
that Ring, that Ring of Sauron,
but then many uruks,
in the service of Sauron,
attacked Mr. Frodo,
and Boromir Gondo.

Frodo escaped,
with his sidekick Sam,
they took a big boat,
and away they swam.

The fellowship broken,
his friends then awoken,
Merry and Pippin,
the hobbits of drogan.

Then uruks did grab them,
but Boromir did try,
to save them from fry,
but then he did die.

And so ends this story,
or part one at least,
perhaps later I'll show you,
the Towers of Two.

By J.R. and R.